Schedule of Works for Emergency Repairs and Temporary Works on Alice the Architect
1. Install Accrow props under the rotting beam ends (note - beams very broad. Check all dimensions on site).
2. Provide temporary shore to bulging structural wall.
3. Grout separating masonry. Stitch cracks and fill with lime mortar and Botox.
4. Strip out redundant wiring, make safe the rest by regular visits to the psychologist for duration of the works.
5. Remove boiler and drain heating and water systems, ready for installation of new Aga and wind generator.
6. Carry out full camera drains survey, submit report. Cap off unused drains at both ends, after filling with concrete.
7. Remove tatty cladding, provide temporary Vivienne Westwood sheeting.
8. Provide tilts over leaks in roof in the shape of a nice hat.
9. Board up openings, fence off little round specs and leave Alice secure until further funds are available.
Alice is not inhabitable yet, but further decay has been arrested. She is functioning as a structure, but only just.
To cheer her up, the excellent Sir Norman Blogster has included Alice’s blog in his unofficial archiblog poll. See Part IV to vote!
The Glory of the Ordinary - a look at many of the little gems of the English Archi-scape
The Guv tells it like it is
Only sleeping - but we hope he wakes up soon...
Who Links Here
About Me
- Alice
- I am a registered architect and a member of the Royal Institute of British Architects, which also stands for Remember I'm the Bloody Architect. I practice somewhere out in the sticks, living off the bottom of the architectural pond, on tiny loo extensions with the occasional biggy if I'm lucky. Architects in general aren't a respected profession, like a doctor or a vet, even though the training is seven years or more. I think its because a lot of them are either so arrogant they can't be bothered to explain, or they are self effacing to the extent of being invisible. There are a lot of DIY idiots out there who call themselves 'architects' but they're not, and give us solid gold, true to the core architects a bad name. That's enough about me.
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5 comments:
And my Doctor said that there was nothing anybody could do about our gradual decay!
'Carry out full camera drains survey'
oh dear that sounds a bit invasive
Alice - I'm no master builder, however I can obviously assist if there is any nailing to be done! or indeed you require some drilling in order to cheer you up....
Hammering could be an option, but I generally hit my thumb as I am a little out of practice!
I will not rule out screwing or offering to support your heaving gables....
Blimey, its just occured to me that there are more double entendres in the Arch/build world than policing!
I'm off to college for retraining...
I'll get my coat........
TUPC - you can't nail or screw anything into rotten timber. Hammering would cause complete disintegration of the denatured mortar in the brick joints. Careful, slow and considered renovation at this stage, nothing too invasive. Apart from the drains survey, of course.
Oh baby... how did I miss the drains survey?
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